Not The Best Day

While I don't love posting my parenting failures, this blog is also a personal record for me...so here it goes.  Chloe's high chair is the kind that just snaps onto a regular chair.  Keep in mind also that we have bar stool height chairs.  We took the high chair off for Carson's party so that we could have all the chairs for guests.  After the party, Karl was being the wonderful husband he is and was quickly picking up.  He set the high chair on the chair, but since he was just doing a quick general pick up, didn't snap the hooks that hold it in place.

Fast forward to the next morning.  I go to feed Chloe breakfast.  I set her in the high chair and buckle HER into the chair tight.  I turn around to get her food and turn back around just in time to see her and the high chair fall forward off the chair.  She face planted it into the tile.  (Even as I type this and relive it in my head I can barely handle it).

She starts screaming (obviously).  She would intermittently hold her breath and shake her hands, like she didn't know what to do with the pain, and then going back to screaming.  She immediately had a huge purple lump the size of my fist.  I could literally see the grout line on her forehead.  Her nose was bleeding.

I was holding her and feeling scared and like an awful mother.  The minute I saw her nose was bleeding I just looked at Karl and said "Hospital...now."  We stopped and said a prayer first and then were frantically getting things together.  As we were trying to get out the door as fast as possible, she got real quiet and was trying to fall asleep on my shoulder (which she never does).  We kept her awake (I didn't know if this was really important or just important on TV shows...but I figured better safe than sorry).

I was kind of freaking out inside, but I think I held it together enough to function.  The scariest part was just not knowing if she was going to be alright.  "Did I just permanently harm my child" was running through my head.  A few times the thought "is she going to die" went through my head but I kept that one at bay as I thought it probably wasn't that bad.  Karl and I both felt awful - he because he hadn't snapped in the chair and me because she fell on my watch.

We got to the ER and Karl dropped me off at the door as he went to park.  I was filling out the paperwork and the nurses asked me what happened.  I hadn't cried yet, but as I started into the story I burst into tears.  I'm not sure how much they understood of the story as I blubbered on.

We were taken back right away and one of the nurses said it looked like she would be okay.  Even though she hadn't thoroughly checked her, this did help to alleviate some of my fear.  They gave her a little baby hospital gown.  They asked us several times if she ever lost consciousness...so I guess it was good she stayed awake.

The doctor came in and started checking her over.  I was a little confused when he said "do you know exactly where she hit?"  Could he not see the ginormous lump?  I wanted to say "Not here or here so much...but right here."  He said the forehead is probably the best place to take a hit.  He said her eyes were responsive.  He said there was no blood behind the ears.  He was super mean and pushed real hard on her lump...poor thing started screaming.  He said she was showing normal 10 month old baby brain activity and function.  He then said he didn't think she needed a CT scan and that we should watch her for the next 5 hours and come back if she was acting "not normal."

She had already cheered up a bit.  She would get happy and then accidentally hit herself in the head with a toy and start screaming again (funny but sad)

She was acting totally normal by the time we got home.  Me, on the other hand, took several days to get over the trauma.  It literally consumed my thoughts for a few days.  Even though she was acting normal, I worried that some clot or some tiny fracture would blow (or something...my medical knowledge stems from shows like ER, Greys, and House).

It has been a few weeks though and she is fine.  Her bruise went away surprisingly fast.  The lump is still there a little...you can see it when she raises her eyebrows because her forehead now wrinkles around the lump.  The bruise did sink down around her eye though and she had a little black eye for a few days.

Carson just turned 5 and we haven't had a single ER visit for him.  Chloe made it 10 months.

So there you have it.  My scariest moment as a mother thus far.  I am so grateful she is okay.  Lots of prayers of thanks followed that week.

While we were at the hospital I texted my fellow Beehive leaders to let them know we wouldn't make it to church and gave them a short explanation.  The Beehives are so sweet and told me they said a prayer for Chloe as well.